Sunday, July 31, 2011

Bow Chick(en) Bow Wow

So...I kinda sorta introduced the girls to Internet porn the other day.

But don't was only animal porn.

Wait, that didn't sound any better. Lemme 'splain.

A few weeks ago I was discussing the status of the chicken flock (roosters crowing!) with my country-wise co-worker and how, in another month, the hens would start laying eggs. My co-worker made the very good point that, since the chickens were approaching sexual maturity, we should review the dynamics of chicken mating with the girls.

You see, chicken sex involves a lot of climbing and pinching and grabbing and squawking, and more than one child has been concerned that the rooster was "being mean" to the hens in the process.

So being a good homesteading mother, I had "the birds and the bees...and the chickens" talk with the girls one night. I explained how the rooster climbs on to the back of the hen, and then uses his beak to grab either her neck and/or comb. The hen squawks, the rooster pulls down his rear can figure out the rest. The whole thing last roughly 10 seconds.

But seeing how kids have active imaginations and a thirst for knowledge, they wanted to know more. How does the rooster balance on the hen? Does the hen just sit there? Does he just hop off when done?

Naturally, I went to YouTube.

I can't decide if the plethora of chicken sex videos available are for educational purposes (as was our intent) or something...more...disturbing. Either way, the girls got their questions answered and I somehow managed to stay clear of any videos that might not be suitable for young viewers.

The timing of our conversation and video viewing was perfect, because about a week later we were the audience to one of Dockers' earliest couplings with a hen.

"Sexy rooster in da hizzle!"

And wouldn't you know, it looked just like what we saw on YouTube.

--Rational Mama


  1. There was a TED talk on this very topic, and I wish I could post the link for you, but I'm having trouble finding it and starting to think that will think I'm a pervert if I keep typing in things like "kids sex videos." But I swear there was one. The speaker's kids were asking her how animals have sex, and so she showed them videos, and they kept asking to see other animals, and it was all very educational, and then the kids asked if there were videos of people having sex. The speaker said nooooo, of course not, people are much too private for that. And that was the punch line of the talk.

  2. Ben - the link is: It's Julia Sweeney (whom I adore)...and I was so grateful that the girls didn't start asking more questions... ;)

  3. Sex, eggs, dinner. It is the circle of life!

  4. lol. We always laugh at things that come up in our household that for many others would be considered exceptionally awkward or horrifying. This is definitely the kind of dinner table conversation that would prompt the phrase "Things normal households don't talk about!"

  5. Michelle - have you heard of this? Thinking of giving it a go, thought you might be up for it too. ;)

  6. I am really enjoying your blog! keep up the cute posts!

  7. And there we have it - I read your entire blog in three days. And it was time well-spent, too!

    I see that you haven't posted in over 4 months. I hope everything's OK, and that you and your beautiful family are thriving over there in The Shire.

    1. Gill - I'm not sure if you're stilling checking in here, but thanks for being so positive and supportive. You're one of the reasons I'm back to blogging!